Last year, I published a blog that I’d written years ago with the premise of ‘hiding nothing’ from you. People loved reading it and have asked me for a follow-up. So here it is, part 2 of When I Hide Nothing From You.
- I’m still not officially divorced (after 8 years of separation).
- I like milk chocolate better than dark chocolate.
- My hair is about 70% grey. I have very mixed feelings about this.
- I’m actually really, really, really normal.
- I’m a total homebody and I’d be happy if I pretty much never had to leave my home.
- I love online shopping!
- Even though I make plenty of money and frankly I’ve never been happier, I still sometimes wish Prince Charming would swoop in and take care of me.
- I secretly throw away my kid’s art and toys when they are sleeping.
- I used to shoplift (a lot) when I was a teenager and I occasionally have moments when I still see something I want and contemplate walking out of the store with it.
- I regularly let the dishes go without washing them for days at a time.
- I often only wash them when we start running out of clean plates. It’s always the plates….
- I love being a mom.
- Sometimes I want to just get in my car and drive away from everything. Drive and drive and never come back.
- I often wake up deeply anxious.
- I have a fear that all my teeth are going to fall out.
- I pretty much masturbate daily.
- I sure hope my parents aren’t reading this.
- I cannot have ice cream in the house without eating ALL of it.
- I doubt myself almost daily. Sometimes many times in a day.
- I long for a home to call my own, with land and trees and chickens and goats.
- Then I really would never leave my home!
- My idea of having ‘made it’ is an outdoor shower.
- I am afraid of dying.
- I am secretly afraid that I am actually really shallow and boring.
- One of my deepest fears is that no one wants me around and they are all just putting up with me to be nice.
- I feel very lost right now. I am putting one foot in front of the other. I am trying to find faith.
- I don’t know if I believe in God.
Got something you want to share? Leave it in the comments below.
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There are many items here I totally relate to especially your deepest fear. Thank you for your honesty.
That’s wonderful to hear. You are welcome Catherine, thanks for reading!
Kendra, I love this! Thank you. I’m inspired to make my own list, and it’s both curious and heart warming to see I hide many of the same things as you.
I love you and all of this and I agree… An outdoor shower is like THE thing. ❤️
Thank you 🙂 and yes!
Wow. This is extremely vulnerable and pretty amazing to read. Your sharing this is more vulnerable and intimate than I’ve experienced with friends or family or anyone in a long while. Thank you for writing this and sharing it.
Thanks for the response Stan, I appreciate it <3
I can relate with so many of those !! Thanks for your honesty.
Dear Kendra – I was touched by your. I share many of your fears and doubts. One of things a look for and treasure in friends and fellow travelers is an openness the feelings of doubt and shams and fear that plague so many, if not all, of us. I know from following you a bit that you are also someone who knows and stands strong for her truth, moment to moment. That mix of vulnerability and strength are a powerful combination. I’m a psychotherapist and often say to the men I work with that if they want to whole men they will have to be connected to both their hearts and their balls. Same goes for women (just need a different metaphor). I would like to send you a copy of my book. It is very much about this issue of walking in strength and vulnerability, about our need for each other’s embrace and the equally strong need for autonomy and self-respect. The is entitled “Ego: The Ghost in Your Machinery”. If you shoot me an address I’ll get one to you. Meanwhile thank you for embodying genuine authenticity while walking the path with courage and love. Dr Lou Cox
Thank you for this <3 You speak to my heart. And your vulnerability is such a gift
"My idea of having ‘made it’ is an outdoor shower."- 100%
Thanks Julia! I’m so glad someone else gets the outdoor shower thing. Ha!
i also have major morning anxiety. what is that all about?
Thanks for this piece. I just know you as wonder woman the way you drop all those points and listen. David Whyte talks about the conversational nature of reality. That’s one of your gifts. You won’t die alone. Besides everything else, what’s your favorite poem?
What a relief to read this…I share many with you. The anxiety is the one that stuck out the most as that has been a prevalent experience in the morning for me for several years now. I have learned to work with it in many ways and what I am receiving from you sharing it here along with your other clear, potent and powerful teachings is that there is nothing wrong with me. Your radical honesty is such a gift to our world. Thank you.