One of the biggest stumbling blocks for my clients as they step more and more fully into their authentic selves is figuring out what is actually authentic for them. I often hear them say things like: “It does *feel* authentic”, or “this doesn’t *feel* like me”, or “which is the most authentic part?” People want to know: how do I be my most authentic self {all the time}?

But here’s the thing: there is no such thing as 100% authentic.

In any given moment, there are between 5 and 20 different things going on that are all ‘authentic’ parts of me (or you). For example, right now there’s one part that’s excited about expressing this & another part that already wants to re-do it. I’m tired. I’m turned on. I also feel a small amount of anxiety below my heart. I could name many different experiences and thoughts I’m having, all of which are ‘authentic to’ me.

So how do I express my Authentic Self?!

Instead of focusing directly on that, here’s where I like to play:

In the midst of all those different feelings and thoughts, there’s usually some that are more comfortable, louder & easier to access. You could argue they’re the most authentic but I would argue they’ve just been used the most — they just happen to have the most well-worn grooves in your body/mind.

Utah Phillips has this great quote that’s something to the effect of:

“Water follows the path of least resistance, and following the path of least resistance is what makes the river crooked.”

Once a habit begins (and most of our habits started very early in life & totally unconsciously), that’s just where our energy flows–it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the most authentic, or that it is what will serve you (or the people in your life) most.

How I like to think about this is to look at the different parts of me like radio signals:

In any given moment there are a bunch radio signals, all saying: ‘pay attention to me!’, ‘express me!’, ‘do me!’.
And I like to look for the parts of me that don’t get much air time–the signals that tend to get skipped over because they’re quieter & got lost in the noise.

For instance, when my daughter gets really excited and her whole body shakes & she jumps up & down. Yesterday I looked at her doing this & thought: What do I do when I get really excited? And I realised what I do is get really still & quiet. When I get excited I have a habit of not wanting to show it. My radio signal around stillness is really strong.

And is that true for me? Absolutely. My capacity for stillness & holding space & listening is a deep & authentic part of me. But there are other parts of me too! Parts that, when I’m excited, wants to jump up and down and giggle & clap my hands.  But it’s a groove that isn’t very well worn, even though it’s also true.

So, start by noticing the parts of yourself that are there & also true, but a little less worn. Then find out what happens when you express the part that’s a little less comfortable, but also true.

Watch the full video exploration below:


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