This blog is part of a three blog series called ‘Flowing with Fall,” on witnessing nature move through fall, and allowing her to guide us along the way. Read part one here, and part two here.
Fall taught me how to embrace and trust who I am in the moment, and that I don’t need to hold onto who I have been in the past.
I can integrate them, but as I grow and mature and shift in the seasons of my life, I can also let go of the other seasons and trust that this one is enough.
What are you ready to let go of?
Here are two practices that are very useful for this, and fall is the perfect time to do them!
These will help create enough space for the deep inner processes of winter, which will allow spring to actually bloom -organically- in your life!
Take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the center, and on one side write ‘enlivens me’ and on the other side write ‘drains me’.
**Go into this practice knowing that you don’t have to do anything about whatever comes up — just because it shows up in the ‘drains me’ part, doesn’t mean you need to get rid of it – just be honest about it!
Then start to go through your life, and notice what in your life enlivens you and what drains you.
The more specific, the better.
Rather than putting ‘my children, on the ‘drains me’ side, it might be ‘when my children come home from school and drop all things on the floor and then demand a snack, while I pick up and put away all their things’ – drains me.
The same goes for the ‘enlivens me’ side.
It’s too easy (and, frankly, it’s lazy) to say ‘my husband’, rather than being willing to take the time to notice what REALLY enlivens you.
Is it when he stops, looks in your eyes & says ‘I love you’?
Is it when you spend time as a family? Just the two of you, without the kids?
This process builds awareness, and, over time, allows you to take responsibility for your energy in a really deep and powerful way.
The second process is more dramatic.
This is especially good with projects you might want to take on.
Using the energy of fall time is about getting clarity around what might need to be shed, that allows us to go into the dark of winter and let winter do what its supposed to do– incubate and hibernate so we come out into spring with this full force of knowing what we need to do.
Grab a piece of paper and draw two lines straight down – effectively creating 3 columns.
On one side write ‘Hell Yes’ and the other ‘Hell No’ and in the middle is your ‘Maybe’ spot.
Then go through all the projects, ideas, things you are taking on, or different pieces of work, and sort them into the sections.
You don’t have to take action on it immediately.
‘Hell No’ is really ‘Hell No for Now’ – it’s an acknowledgment that you have limited energy and you are choosing to give all your energy to the ‘Hell Yes’ section – in order for those things to truly flourish.
Some things will end up in the maybe section, but you can’t leave them there for too long because they are taking your energy.
In fact, leaving things in the ‘Maybe’ category is often more draining than taking on a project that is a ‘No’ for you.
Ask yourself: is this really a ‘Maybe’ or is this a ‘No for Now’? Let yourself be honest.
And, then, if it’s truly in the maybe category – ask yourself: What would make this a Hell Yes?
This is a powerful question that takes you out of black and white/yes or no thinking and empowers you.
Would it be a Hell Yes if you were paid more money?
What about if you only allocated 4 hours/week to it?
Or is it that you actually need more responsibility for it to be a Hell Yes?
(*I share a powerful story about this in the video below)
The last piece I’ll leave you with is this:
Fall is a season of radical responsibility.
Of cleaning and clearing.
Of taking stock.
Of knowing what you need to germinate & what you need to let go of.
Then, and only then, can we allow winter to do its deepest magic on what matters most to us.
Watch the full video here:
Feel free to leave your questions and comments below!
Like what you're reading?
To receive relational practices and posts like this, sign up here.