What I’ve found in the last fifteen years of working with people to find out what’s true for them is that most people already know and it’s often very close to the surface. The problem is they put buffers between themselves and their direct experience of their truth, in part because we have an internally held (usually unconscious) belief that says, if I know the answer to that question, then I have to do something about it.
For example:
If I find out what my boundary is in relation to the person, then I have to set it.
(and they will be angry)
If I know what my desire is, then I have to go after it.
(and I will be judged)
If I listen to myself, then I have to follow what I say.
(and I will ruin my life)
While I do support my clients in honoring the truths they discover within themselves, I believe the first step is always about listening—without shame, judgement or even a need to act—to what our bodies tell us.
Our bodies have very clear and distinct ways of sharing information—yes, no, wait, stop, I want this, I don’t like that, etc—and all we really need to do is listen, even if we aren’t going to follow the direction we receive.
The same way we are not forced to do what other people tell us to do, we also are not obligated to follow the truth of our hearts or bodies. What is most important is acknowledging with real honesty what our intuition is sharing with us and what we truly want.
This doesn’t necessarily take a lot of time, but it does take consistency. The part of you that knows exactly what you want has usually been ignored or repressed for a very long time. We can show this part that it can trust you to listen, by showing up consistently and doing just that, just listening. Even if we don’t take action on what we’re being told, finding the smallest way of honoring what our truth is telling you lets it know that we’re listening.
One practice for becoming more acquainted with the way your body and intuition speak to you is:
There is no greater imperative for humans at this time than to become more and more deeply tuned in to our own internal truth(s) and to learn to listen to our intuition. When we’re in tune with our deepest desires and truths, we are no longer subject to larger cultural and historical influences that seek to shame us into submission.
What a beautiful post K, and right on time! I was just thinking this morning about how to make business decisions, and this practice is a beautiful tool.
Question: Doesn’t the Yes and No need to be aligned with an underlying purpose? Yes or No in relation to what? Particularly the Yes, which implies movement, would be in relation to an underlying goal. For example, “should I wear this skirt tonight” could be a Yes if the underlying goal is to look/feel hot and boost self-esteem. But if the underlying goal is to cultivate modesty and balance, then the No might be order. Do you do work around “keeping the goal in mind?” Thanks for any thoughts!
That’s a beautiful tool and so nicely explained. Thank you!
Thanks Alan, glad it was helpful!