“Embody the undomesticated feminine; untame yourself.” -Jenna La Flame
The first time I saw this quote, it really hit me. Although I wasn’t sure what they were yet, I could tell there were layers in it for me. As I sat with it, I noticed I was having a defensive reaction, because this seemed like just another thing I ‘should’ do or be: ‘Untamed’, which sounded a lot like ‘wild’. But as I thought it through, this idea of being undomesticated became richer and deeper and more nuanced.
What it really means is to answer to yourself, or, to belong to oneself.
To be domesticated is to be under the dominion of another. For example: think about the difference between a dog and a wolf. Dogs are mostly domesticated and there’s nothing wrong with that–dogs are in no way close to becoming extinct and most of them live happy, healthy full lives, so domestication serves them, but it’s at the expense of having to serve their owners in return.
Whereas a wolf answers to herself. I spent time recently at a wolf sanctuary where I met this particularly amazing wolf. The founder of the sanctuary was speaking about the way she behaves towards humans–she comes when she wants to come and leaves when she wants to leave, and it’s never a pushing away, instead she responds to her own true desire.
That’s what I think it means to be truly undomesticated–to respond to our own true desire; to exercise our own autonomy (without it being in reaction to another), and to have dominion over ourselves.
What’s more, there’s a whole spectrum of ‘undomestication,’ of wildness. It doesn’t mean you have to be fierce or loud or swim naked in the ocean. You can be and do those things, but the most delicate flowers are undomesticated, along with the most fierce cactuses. Worms are undomesticaed, as are lions.
Undomesticated, or untamed, does not look one particular way. It is not a new edict (for women) that they must now also be wild in a particular way.
“Embody the undomesticated feminine, untame yourself.”
How do we do this?
Take time, slow down and get in touch with yourself to find out what’s true for you and how can you respond to the call of that.
Take time with yourself where you can truly listen to the quiet, subtle voices within your own body and respond, without the calls of family, lovers, friends or culture–whatever is around you all the time.
It may take time to find what is truly yours, but I know you can find it if you are willing to take the time and listen…..
What is {one of} your particular flavor{s} of undomestication? How could you express it, even in some small way, today?
What the full video below: