Create thriving, fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life
The quality and depth of our relationships are what make life worth living. Unsatisfying relationships are often the underlying cause of much of our dissatisfaction and discontentment in life. Whether it’s to see and be seen, to understand and feel understood, to love and be loved, or to feel more fulfillment in your job & negotiate higher pay — the quality of your relationships is the key. Learning to navigate the multiplicity of relationships in your life with grace and ease is an essential skill required for your happiness & success — within your family, business & work-life, friendships, community, and life.
Join me for Relationship by Design Fundamentals, a 10-week group coaching program that will teach you the fundamental building blocks that are essential to create thriving, fulfilling relationships within your family, workplace, friendships and intimate life.
“{Relationship By Design Fundamentals} sparked curiosity and possibility in my marriage that I was not sure was available, and offered opportunity for deeper connection and more playfulness and fun.” — RH
“{One of the things that surprised me about RBDF was} what a big shift I had in my relationship with my mother. It feels like it has transformed and there’s no going back to the past. ” —HM
You'll also:
1) Uncover soul-level truths about wants, needs and desires.
One of the most crucial parts of fulfilling relationships is determining our personal wants, needs and desires. These live very deep inside us and can be difficult to uncover. During this process, we’ll dig deep into our inner landscape and learn what really makes us tick.
2) Overcome dissatisfaction and create thriving relationships.
Many of us feel disempowered to change or shift our relationships. We think how they are is the way they have to be, and this inevitably leads to feelings of dissatisfaction, anxiety, and discontentment. Learn how to shift your relationships so they become deeper and more fulfilling for everyone involved.
3) Learn to navigate your relationships with an open heart.
At the slightest hint that our wants, needs or desires are in conflict with another, we tend to collapse entirely, or defend our position fiercely. Learning how to stay open-hearted and curious throughout this process significantly increases our capacity to create happy, fulfilling relationships.
We often enter relationships with a predetermined path in mind.
Whether it’s family, friendship, intimate partnership, or colleagues, we think we know exactly what’s possible, as well as what we are and aren’t allowed to want, need and desire, all without even checking with the other person. These ideas are often inherited from our culture, or based on our past relationships, and they stop us from expressing our unique selves, which can lead to chronic dissatisfaction in our love lives, or with our family, friends and careers. Many people lose hope that it’s even possible to have what they want in these areas, and most of us have experienced at least some form of numbing out, in order to not feel the deep sadness that comes with this hopelessness. Take heart, it doesn’t have to be this way!
“{Relationship By Design Fundamentals} is the place where your relationships with others points you back to the relationship you have with yourself.”
Inside every relationship exists infinite possibility.
Each human being is unique, and there are also many commonalities. On the one hand, our individual personalities, interests, and quirky ways of relating to each other bring layers upon layers of potential beauty for creating interesting and fulfilling styles of relating. On the other hand, I often hear people dismiss their personal desires in relationships because they imagine they are overthinking things, or they think what they want is weird.
After working with tens of thousands of people over the past twenty years, I have yet to meet a person who has a desire that isn’t shared by others. While we can’t always have everything exactly the way we want in every relationship, there’s much, much more available beyond our predetermined expectations and ideas. Exploring these realms in all areas of our lives leads to greater meaning, more authentic relationships, and deeper fulfillment.
So what does the program include?
- Live Group Coaching Calls with Kendra. This program is not a spectator event. We will learn, practice and engage live on every call. All calls will be recorded and uploaded to the member site within 48 hours. You will also have the opportunity to download the recordings so you can refer back to them for years to come.
- High-Impact Relational Teachings and Practices. Get twenty years of relationship coaching experience distilled down to the teachings and practices that matter most.
- Live Coaching. Some portion of every call is reserved for live coaching. Dive deep into how these principles apply to your specific life during the live coaching component of our calls.
- A Library of Resources, Teaching and Practices. Get access to Kendra’s favorite books, audios and downloads from the resource library along with her best teachings and practices in video and blog format. These include practices for self awareness, energetic clarity, embodied expression, as well as teachings from past events, and more!
- Online Community Forum. Immerse yourself inside our online community with others dedicated to transforming their relationships from the inside out — connect, share, and learn from the experience of others.
- Member Site. A virtual hub that holds all call recordings, teachings, practice videos and resources for easy access anytime.
Areas of Focus
Communication
Self-Expression
Personal Practices
Relational Practices
Embodiment
Inner Truth
What Are The Module Topics?
Module 1: Authenticity
Authenticity is an overused term, and an under-practiced skill. Most of us unconsciously hide and modify parts of ourselves because we’re afraid they won’t be accepted or welcomed by others. In order to truly be in relationship with another, or others, we must first be willing to truly be ourselves. Over the last 20 years of teaching I’ve heard many people express some version of the sentiment: “I can’t be myself here” or “I can’t be all of myself with that person/those kinds of people”. Until we are willing to reveal ourselves, we will never know if that’s true and the depth of our relationships will be limited. In this module, we’ll work with the mind, body, and nervous system to discover and shift the blocks we have created in order to share ourselves authentically in all areas of our lives.
Module 2: Tell Me What You Really, REALLY Want
Most people think they know what they want, but what we want is often based on what we think we can have. Our truest wants, needs and desires come from and live in the body. In order to discover these truths in ourselves, we must be in honest connection with our bodily experience. When we aren’t in touch with our deepest truths, what we bring to the table in our relationships is often not what we really want, and only leads to more dissatisfaction. During this module we’ll be unpacking all the layers involved, including where our assumptions come from and why we have them. We’ll learn practices and tools to know, stay in touch with, and express what we really want, moment to moment.
Module 3: Getting and Staying Curious
As soon as we stop being curious, our relationships are as good as dead. Humans habitually lose curiosity in two main places—when they’re entering a new relationship or dynamic where it’s human nature to attempt to organize and classify based on available data, and when they’ve been in a relationship a long time and have become habituated about what to expect. Genuine curiosity is essential in creating real, deep, flourishing and nourishing relationships. In this module you’ll discover your genuine curiosity – for yourself and your own desires, as well as within your relationships. This module includes exercises and language for engaging with curiosity whether you’re meeting someone new, or in conversation with someone you’ve known for decades. You’ll also learn practices and tools for accessing curiosity in any moment, or when you feel ‘triggered’.
Module 4: Generosity is Queen
When we are only focused on ourselves and getting what we want, we cease to be in a real relationship. The same is true for acting from a tit-for-tat mentality. True negotiation in relationships, that takes all parties into account, requires a level of generosity that very few of us are used to. No matter how much you love someone, there will come a moment in your relationship where you are mad or hurt or tired or resentful, and these are the pivotal moments in your relationship where generosity comes into play. It’s easy to give when you feel good, when you want to, and when what is being asked of you is easy. It’s the moments when it’s challenging that really count. Generosity is the foundation of all of my teaching, and I believe if you truly embrace the practice of generosity, every relationship in your life will be transformed. In this module you’ll learn what blocks your generosity within relationships and how to move through it along with what it means to offer someone love in the way they want to be loved and why it matters.
Relationship by Design Fundamentals was previously offered as a standalone program.
However, it is now exclusively available to members of The Collective.
This program is for you if:
- You aren’t aware you even could want something more or different, let alone how to go about creating it.
- You experience chronic dissatisfaction in your relationships, career, or life and find yourself wondering if this is as good as it gets.
- It seems like you’ve changed, but your friendships haven’t.
- You often find yourself trying to fit in and not feeling as though you belong anywhere.
- You think you’re the only weird one who wants deeper connection with your colleagues.
- You know what you want, and you judge yourself for wanting it.
- You feel yourself constantly settling in your relationships.
- You feel alone in the kind of relating you wish for.
- You imagine that all the other moms (or office-mates, students, husbands, etc) have it figured out and all fit in with each other.
- You often find yourself holding back around friends and family.
- You feel lonely.
This program is not for you if:
- You are committed to blaming the state of your relationships or life on other people.
- You truly don’t believe it’s possible for your relationships to get better.
- You aren’t willing to try new things
- You are looking for a ‘magic bullet’, ‘quick fix’, or someone to save you.
My Story
My ex-husband and I got married because we loved each other, were running a business together and wanted to have a family together. Marriage seemed like the logical way to go about that, and nowhere did we see models of people mutually supporting each other in these ways, without being married. At the time we were ironically building a business around creating authentic relationships. Our tagline was ‘no cookie-cutter molds’, and it still didn’t occur to us that there was any other way, which to me only illuminates how deeply ingrained these ideas are. While I will always be grateful for the business and family we did create, I wish we had known a way to step outside of these prescribed norms, and ask ourselves if there was a better way for us to love each other; if we could have a family and support each other without getting married. We could have saved a lot of heartbreak.
When my first child was one, I risked everything — my career, my community, and a life that looked like everything I’d ever wanted on paper — to follow my truth. It took all my inner trust to let go of the relationships that no longer nourished me & to develop relationships that did. What has come from this is a group of friends I know I can count on. I only work with people I actually want to spend time around; and career opportunities have appeared that I never would have had, if I hadn’t been willing to risk being vulnerable in order to create the kinds of professional relationships that really matter to me.
Then when I became pregnant with my second child, I watched my partner struggle with similar ideas – he thought he either had to leave, or marry me. Nothing in his life had ever shown him there could be any other option. He would try to make us a traditional couple and family, but something deep in his soul wouldn’t let him pretend, so he would leave for a time and then come back to try again. Over time, we found our relationship path – what was right for us. Ultimately we bought houses next door to each other, and now live as lovers, co-parents and partners in life. We are not only happier within ourselves, but also better parents and better partners to each other through forging our own path, rather than ‘settling’ or giving in to what seemed to be expected of us.
There are a myriad of other examples around my career path, as well as how I have created my community, and circle of friends and colleagues, all of which have taken me off the beaten path and been deemed unconventional by many. The path of designing your relationships from true desire is not for the faint of heart, but it is the most rewarding and fulfilling path I know.
What Participants Say
“There are years worth of learning & practice embedded within {Relationship By Design Fundamentals}. The value will go on for a lifetime.”
“{Relationship By Design Fundamentals} has shifted how I view relationships with others beginning from a false foundation of competition, to one of collaboration, and an understanding that there can be room for everyone to get what they want/need/desire.”
“{One of the things that made me happiest about RBDF} was being with other people who have similar foci and hearing that things I ‘knew’ in my body/being about what was possible being discussed and validated. It was the constant discovery and the ‘YES!!!’ when topics were discussed and I had experienced them, but don’t really have a community to discuss these things with. It was validating going through things, learning, and also my intuition saying, “You’ve got this, you have known this, you can trust yourself, trust your knowing!”
“What made me most happy is feeling like there are endless possibilities for getting more of what I want, giving more of what my husband wants, and the prospects of a really fun, playful, loving, hot marriage for a long time coming.”
“{Relationship By Design Fundamentals} allows for a beautiful, gentle but profound shift in perspective. You will find growth at your own pace led by a warm, compassionate facilitator with a unique perspective on relating. I think the program’s magic lies in a permissiveness that shows awareness that growth is not a straight line but an experience with peaks and valleys. It’s a very comfortable, non-competitive program that will make you feel safe while still emboldening you to explore your edges.”
“{Relationship By Design Fundamentals} s parked curiosity and possibility in my marriage that I was not sure was available, and offered opportunity for deeper connection and more playfulness and fun.” – RH
“This was a rich course and such a refreshing perspective.”
“{One of the things that surprised me about RBDF was} what a big shift I had in my relationship with my mother. It feels like it has transformed and there’s no going back to the past. ” -HM
Join Relationship By Design Fundamentals
Relationship by Design Fundamentals was previously offered as a standalone program.
However, it is now exclusively available to members of The Collective.
- Live Group Coaching Calls with Kendra. This program is not a spectator event. We will learn, practice and engage live on every call. All calls will be recorded and uploaded to the member site within 48 hours. You will also have the opportunity to download the recordings so you can refer back to them for years to come.
- High-Impact Relational Teachings and Practices. Get twenty years of relationship coaching experience distilled down to the teachings and practices that matter most.
- Live Coaching. Some portion of every call is reserved for live coaching. Dive deep into how these principles apply to your specific life during the live coaching component of our calls.
- A Library of Resources, Teaching and Practices. Get access to Kendra’s favorite books, audios and downloads from the resource library along with her best teachings and practices in video and blog format. These include practices for self awareness, energetic clarity, embodied expression, as well as teachings from past events, and more!
- Online Community Forum. Immerse yourself inside our online community with others dedicated to transforming their relationships from the inside out — connect, share, and learn from the experience of others.
- Member Site. A virtual hub that holds all call recordings, teachings, practice videos and resources for easy access anytime.
About Kendra
Founder of The Collective: A Global Web of Women Devoted to Embodied Wholeness, Kendra Cunov has been studying, facilitating, and practicing authentic relating, embodiment practices and deep intimacy work for over fifteen years.
Kendra has worked with thousands of men, women and couples in the areas of embodiment, intimacy, communication and full self-expression. She co-founded Authentic World and Fierce Grace, as well as The Embodied Relationship Training Salon (with John Wineland), and pioneered some of the most cutting edge relational work on the planet.
She works with organizations and leaders, as well as men, women and couples, who know that embodied presence, truth, connection and integrity are our truest access points to success – in business and in love.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will the live calls be recorded?
Yes. The calls will be recorded and uploaded to the Member Site within 48 hours after the live call.
Can I participate if I can’t make all the calls live?
Yes. While we strongly encourage you to join all calls live, this is not a requirement. Even though the calls are recorded, if you cannot make any of the calls live, we encourage you to wait and join the course at a more convenient time for you.
I’m gay, straight, queer, bi, is this program for me?
Absolutely. Any and all genders and/or sexual orientations are welcome and included in Relationship By Design Fundamentals.
I’m single, is Relationship By Design Fundamentals only for couples?
No! While couples are welcome in this program, Relationship By Design Fundamentals is organised to support all people wanting to create relationships in any area of their lives more consciously.
I’m happily married/coupled, will I/we get anything out of this program?
Absolutely! What I know to be true, is that our relationships can always be deepened. Being in a long-term relationship (whether with a spouse, co-parent, life-time friend, or long-term lover) is a never ending journey that can either be tiring & challenging, or the most rewarding experience of your life. I wish the latter for all of us!
How many hours each week do I need to have available?
The calls are 90 min each. In addition, we suggest setting aside another 1-2 hours each week.
Is Kendra available for 1:1 sessions during the program?
Yes! Please reach out to info@kendracunov.com & someone on our team will get back to you ASAP about scheduling a 1:1 at a reduced rate.